“And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her. But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother: and Jonadab was a very subtle man. And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand. So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand. Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon's house, and dress him meat. So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes. And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him. And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister. And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly. And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee. Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her” (2 Samuel 13:1-14).
Introduction
David’s family problems begin with the incestuous rape of Tamar by Amnon her half-brother. Had David not become a polygamist it is likely that this evil act would have never occurred. The events than follow are the fulfilment of Nathan’s prophecy about David’s troubled family which would led to internal conflicts in the nation.
Infatuation
Both Amnon and Tamar were the children of David. Amnon was his eldest son by Ahinoam (2 Samuel 3:2), and in a very real sense he was the legitimate heir to the throne, but we see that he had a wicked heart. He was not madly in love with Tamar, just mad. He was privileged and maybe even spoilt since he had been given his own home and servants to minister to him. Just like David his father he allowed his advantages to lead him into immorality. The text tells us that he loved his half-sister Tamar whose mother was Maacah (2 Samuel 3:3), which means he was infatuated with her and lusted after her. In decent society such love is forbidden. “The nakedness of thy father's wife's daughter, begotten of thy father, she is thy sister, thou shalt not uncover her nakedness” (Leviticus 18:11). Though he thought he was in love with her, even to the point of not being able to eat, in fact it was really evil passion. He claimed that he loved her, yet the story reveals that he only loved himself and sought to fulfil his own selfish desires. His lovesickness was obsession at its worst.
He knew, as :2 suggests, that is was wrong for him to have such wicked thoughts and feelings for his sister, but he allowed both to control him. He allowed his thoughts to bring him into bondage and destroy another person’s good character. Being a virgin Tamar was protected from every possible unseemly situation, for in those days a king’s daughter was of great political value as the wife of an ally. Amnon did not have easy access to her, therefore he had to come up with a scheme to get her into his presence. We know he was lovesick for Tamar, but after consulting his cousin Jonadab who was David’s nephew, he pretended to be physically sick and in need of a nurse to wait upon him, and of course only his sister could fit the bill. It is astounding to think that Jonadab saw nothing wrong with Amnon’s inordinate affection but actually encouraged him to fulfil his desires. His fake illness was so convincing that David believed it, gave in to him and ordered Tamar to cook for him. How sad it is that David did not see through the deception.
Incest
Tamar obediently followed her father’s instruction and thus found herself in an unbelievable situation. Very soon she realised why Amnon had called for her to be with him. She pleaded with him not to be so foolish and bring shame upon himself and her. She even suggests that their father might allow them to marry, though maybe he knew that David would never permit such a disgusting thing to happen. Nothing could persuade him not to commit such a heinous crime and because he was much stronger than her, he quickly overpowered her and raped her.
Tamar was obviously more level-headed than her brother, for wisdom taught her that this wicked sin would bring about folly. She knew that there would be no winners if he persisted and forced her to submit to him so appealed to his sense of common decency and reason. She probably was aware what the Law of God stated concerning such a thing. “Cursed be he that lieth with his sister, the daughter of his father, or the daughter of his mother” (Deuteronomy 27:22). She had done absolutely nothing wrong. She had not tempted or seduced Amnon in any way, yet she found herself the victim of crime.
Conclusion
Three men were involved in this wicked deed. Amnon, its perpetrator; Jonadab the subtle (evil schemer) man who encouraged him, and David who allowed himself to be duped by both. David should have taken time to think things through and would have realised something was wrong. He ought to asked why Tamar was so vital to Amnon’s health. Maybe the events of his own recent past had dulled his discernment. All three men were “fools” (:13). We cannot dismiss the fact that David’s bad example through his own immorality had sown the seeds that produced this wickedness in his son. He had also failed to bring his children up correctly. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). In our next study we shall see the aftermath of Amnon’s sin.
© 12/6/2010